Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
