We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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