"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
