are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize