talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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