did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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