there was a trapeze. enough said
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
