I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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