1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
