While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im holly from the hills drunk
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
