Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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