she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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