Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
