So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
