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• (817): View more from Texas

  you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag

  (817): View more from Texas

  could you get any more awkward?

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.

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• (408): View more from California

  He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  How much did you drink?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.

  (239): View more from Florida

  that is the opposite of a normal text message.

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• (858): View more from California

  There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.

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