I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
