im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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