its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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