you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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