I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
