You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
