He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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