I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
