As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
