Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
