we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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