They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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