I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize