end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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