do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
