They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
