I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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