My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
