Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize