Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize