All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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