he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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