im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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