Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
