is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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