Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
