I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
