it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
