I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
