ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You can't motorboat a personality
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
