I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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