I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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