Don't you send me to vm
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You left your phone here
Wait...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
