ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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