Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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