words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
40s are totally the cure
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
