Why are handjobs necessary in class?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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