he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
