She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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