Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So vagazzling was a success
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize