'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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