i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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