he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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