Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
