Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
