I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
